Speechless
by Lady Chitose
Summary: Why is Edward laughing? Why is Roy in a skirt? And what does Havoc have to do with it all? RoyHavoc


Disclaimer: The characters featured in this piece of work belong to their respectful owners.

This is the result of boredom, caffeine, and perverted yaoi cravings. There is Roy/Havoc content ahead, so if you don't like shounen-ai/yaoi or this couple, don't read. It's a short little oneshot, though I may try something longer later on. It's also my first FMA story, yay.

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******Speechless**

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This was humiliating beyond belief. What had possessed him to engage in such a stupid bet in the first place was beyond his logic then. And it was too late to turn back now; judging by the way he was grinning maniacally, Edward wouldn't let him escape over his dead body. This time Roy had to suffer the consequences. The cruel, inhumane, embarrassing consequences. Looks like he had underestimated the power of Edward Elric's mind. He probably had this plan in mind long before their wager. Tugging on a ribbon behind Roy's back, Edward cackled and mumbled, "Go get him tiger."

Inhaling deeply and attempting to stall by walking slowly, Roy was eventually shoved into the office by the other alchemist, who was laughing so hard all his muscles ached. He slouched casually against the wall while watching his adversary nervously enter the office, at the back of which a man was sitting. He was organizing a rather large pile of papers, all the while managing to smoke an over-sized cigar without burning down the place. The man's face held a dull expression, suggesting he was growing bored of his repetitive duties. This expression dissolved half way upon glancing up to see the figure in front of him. His cigar nearly fell out of his mouth, but fortunately landed in his lap.

Roy climbed onto the desk with great difficulty, considering he was wearing a pair of high heels that suffocated his feet. Havoc could only stare in a mixture of confusion and amusement. He asked himself mentally what had caused such behavior, but this was immediately answered by the sound of Edward trying to stifle his laughter. A smile came over Havoc's lips. Colonel Mustang must have gotten into another one of his bets again. He lost this one, apparently. Finally he stood on the table, attempting to keep balance with his arms. Havoc stared with wide eyes at his boss' suggestive attire. At the moment he was debating whether to burst out laughing or hide under his desk in fear. So instead he continued to eye Roy's outfit, still speechless. The most shocking part of his outfit, or so Havoc believed, was the fact he was donning a miniskirt that revealed much of the Colonel's lean legs.

'What irony,' Havoc thought as he chuckled to himself.

Pathetically attempting to stall his torture by clearing his throat, Roy shifted in place slightly, wincing from the pain the shoes alone brought him. After being coaxed by a very entertained Edward in the background, Roy said huskily, "You like this Havoc?" And as if this wasn't enough, Roy ran his fingertips slowly along his leg, starting at his knee and ending somewhere along the inside of his thigh. A wink followed this movement. The cigar was brought back up to Havoc's lips as he lodged in the corner of his mouth, smoke evaporating into the air. Strangely enough, this was beginning to feel more...comfortable for them both, despite Edward still watching from behind. They eventually blocked out his presence anyway.

Soon Roy ignored Edward's orders (not that he had been giving any for the past few minutes; he was concentrating on catching his breath) and began following the naughty ones coming from the back of his mind. With a devious grin, he leaned towards Havoc's mouth and removed the cigar from his teeth. Surprisingly Havoc didn't stop Roy from doing so, but only watched. Maybe he didn't know what to do. Maybe he was actually enjoyed this little show. Roy dropped the cigar onto the table and crushed it beneath his shoe, licking his lips while doing so. Havoc took this as an invitation. Shivering with pleasure, he rose from his seat and moved in closer so that only a few inches separated his face from Roy's. With no hesitation whatsoever, Roy seized Havoc's face and drew him into a kiss. The sandy blonde responded initially with shock, but then eased into it. He draped his arms around Roy's manly shoulders, despite the fact they were hidden by puffy, feminine sleeves from his top. The lieutenant's hands slid down so that they were cupped around the colonel's waist. Havoc felt a temptation to rip off the skirt, but suppressed his desire for two reasons. Firstly, a young alchemist was watching, and surely he'd go around telling everyone about what he saw. Secondly, Havoc enjoyed the sight of Roy in such a ridiculous yet somehow attractive outfit. Chances were, he'd never get such a rare opportunity again.

The two broke away slowly and stared at each other lustfully. Havoc still couldn't find any words, leaving Roy to speak first. "You think this is taking my mini-skirt fetish too far, Jean?" he purred.

Havoc simply shook his head, a bit flattered by the fact Roy had addressed him by his first name. His eyes hungrily examining the lower part of Colonel Mustang's body. Sure, it was terribly, hilariously ironic, but Havoc found himself oddly aroused by it. He'd never though a man would look so good in a mini-skirt. That definitely made up for the fact he had formerly destroyed his last form of nicotine for the day.

Maybe Mustang ought to make mini-skirts a part of everyone's uniform. Or his, at very least.

Roy glanced at the clock hanging on the wall and cautiously slid off the desk, sending some papers flying in the process. Havoc didn't seem to be bothered by it though. His eyes were fixated on Roy, hoping the skirt would flip up a little more. Noticing Havoc staring at him, Roy smiled to himself. Looks like this bet wasn't as bad as he thought it was going to be. Slowly Roy exiting, his heels clicking against the floor as he swayed his hips to torture Havoc. Though he couldn't directly see it, Roy could feel the blonde's eyes glued to the back of him.

Before exiting, Roy halfway peeked over his shoulder and whispered loud enough for Havoc to hear, "You never answered my question. But that's fine since I think we both know the answer anyway."

With that, Roy playfully winked before shutting the doors to his office. Of course, this left both Edward and Havoc speechless.

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Hehe, I have a twisted mind, I know. This was my first attempt at FMA yaoi, so hopefully it's not too OOC. If you review, I shall be very happy. 


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